Just thought I would share this quote I read yesterday. 1 Million points if you know where its from.
"She surprises me and makes me laugh. She's passionate and intense and she eats life with a shovel. I feel so MUCH for her, and that makes me afraid. Afraid that if I let my emotions go... that I might not survive... if anything ever happened to her."
C.Austin
You even get a hint with the writers name.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Monday, July 20, 2009
Jesus Beat Me to Sleep
The title of this post may not make sense if you don't know the phrase "beat it up"
In this definition the male is the one going to town on the female. I feel however that there should be a definition that is all inclusive, for the cases when a woman does such a good job she knocks out her male partner, or when both parties enjoy themselves to the point of a double K.O. That is how Jesus becomes involved. Jesus, the lord and savior in Catholic/Christian mythology, is the son of god and will redeem humanity, absolve us all of sin and what not. I think this all happens during the apocalypse, which is fast approaching... something like 12/21/2012.
Anyway, when there is a double K.O. and both parties involved in the adult play are satisfied and knocked out, one could say that "Jesus beat me to sleep". Most likely because if it was that good, god's name was probably called out at some point. Additionally, referencing Jesus is a testament to the truly profound and religious experience one has when they are "beaten to sleep" by a talented partner. I think I will add this definition to urbandictionary when I have a moment.
I know what your wondering. Was it that good? Well to put it simply, HELL YEA! Jesus beat my shit to sleep.
Sorry if that offends someone, but how many times can you say GOD DAM! The worst part is now I can't sleep properly because I am in withdrawal. And I am already a fucking insomniac.
Jesus beat me to sleep... and now I can't sleep properly.
In this definition the male is the one going to town on the female. I feel however that there should be a definition that is all inclusive, for the cases when a woman does such a good job she knocks out her male partner, or when both parties enjoy themselves to the point of a double K.O. That is how Jesus becomes involved. Jesus, the lord and savior in Catholic/Christian mythology, is the son of god and will redeem humanity, absolve us all of sin and what not. I think this all happens during the apocalypse, which is fast approaching... something like 12/21/2012.
Anyway, when there is a double K.O. and both parties involved in the adult play are satisfied and knocked out, one could say that "Jesus beat me to sleep". Most likely because if it was that good, god's name was probably called out at some point. Additionally, referencing Jesus is a testament to the truly profound and religious experience one has when they are "beaten to sleep" by a talented partner. I think I will add this definition to urbandictionary when I have a moment.
I know what your wondering. Was it that good? Well to put it simply, HELL YEA! Jesus beat my shit to sleep.
Sorry if that offends someone, but how many times can you say GOD DAM! The worst part is now I can't sleep properly because I am in withdrawal. And I am already a fucking insomniac.
Jesus beat me to sleep... and now I can't sleep properly.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Travelling Jason
I have gotten more sun the last few weeks than I have in years. You can finally start to see that I really am Mexican. It used to be that you could not see the difference between my socks and my legs, now there is a very slight difference.
I got to go camping and river rafting in the last two weeks. Nothing like a crazy man like me in the wilderness. It's good for the country folk to experience me, just as it is good for me to go to the rural areas and see those god fearing, bigoted small minded pieces of shit in their natural cousin marrying, sheep fucking habitats. Mind you I think they make great biscuits and gravy and are awesome septic tank cleaners.
I have pictures to share. I am testing out the whole photobucket slide show thing. Hope it works. (edit - It is not working. And no it is not user error. I will find a way to share the photos.)
In other news I have been riding MUNI lately again, I was driving for a while because I got sick and figured that riding MUNI might mutate what ever virus I was fighting. Anyway, one of the positive things about the economic downturn, is that more people are taking public transit. So statistically speaking the number of degenerates has gone up on my bus ride, but also the number of exceedingly hot people has gone up too. This morning I had to wipe some drool from my face as I was gazing at one of the most gorgeous women I have ever seen in public, kinda looked like Donna or Jessica Alba if she wasn't airbrushed all the time. Either way it makes the bus ride a little bit easier to tolerate. Although I totally understand why people wear the painters masks now on the bus. MUNI could mutate the common cold into the Haunta virus.....
I got to go camping and river rafting in the last two weeks. Nothing like a crazy man like me in the wilderness. It's good for the country folk to experience me, just as it is good for me to go to the rural areas and see those god fearing, bigoted small minded pieces of shit in their natural cousin marrying, sheep fucking habitats. Mind you I think they make great biscuits and gravy and are awesome septic tank cleaners.
I have pictures to share. I am testing out the whole photobucket slide show thing. Hope it works. (edit - It is not working. And no it is not user error. I will find a way to share the photos.)
In other news I have been riding MUNI lately again, I was driving for a while because I got sick and figured that riding MUNI might mutate what ever virus I was fighting. Anyway, one of the positive things about the economic downturn, is that more people are taking public transit. So statistically speaking the number of degenerates has gone up on my bus ride, but also the number of exceedingly hot people has gone up too. This morning I had to wipe some drool from my face as I was gazing at one of the most gorgeous women I have ever seen in public, kinda looked like Donna or Jessica Alba if she wasn't airbrushed all the time. Either way it makes the bus ride a little bit easier to tolerate. Although I totally understand why people wear the painters masks now on the bus. MUNI could mutate the common cold into the Haunta virus.....
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
F-List Celebrity Crush
Ok so she really isn't a celebrity, but she has been in the press a lot the last year or so. I just wanted to post about her. Cause of a funny article I read today. I will explain more later. For now here is what America loves.... PICTURES of celebrity trash:
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Vacation
I think I need a vacation. How do I know this? I have had this growing desire to punch random people in the back of the head. Don't act superior America, you know you all have that desire too. Like when you are in line at the ATM and the guy in front is taking way too long and it turns out hes only taking out 20 dollars. Just try and tell me you would not have wanted to back hand him.
I am having more and more impatient thoughts like this. Also can someone please tell me how the "gangsta" style of clothing is still a viable fashion. Like really, not to sound too much like a valley girl, but that is so 1994. Can't you get a fucking belt and pants that fit. Socio-economically speaking I understand when poor people still do it to an extent, but realistically speaking, how is affordable to dress like that anymore. Didn't rich white suburban kids drive up the prices on all the gangsta clothes? I remember when you could buy K-Swiss sneakers at Payless for Christ sakes. Now they sell them for over $60 as a classic shoe at Footlocker and Champs. What the fuck!? I mean really and you see these gangstas on the bus, and they just mug the shit out of you, and I swear to god I know most of them would kick my ass like no one's business or stab me or shoot me, and take my shoes. But I still want to punch them in the fucking head and say get a new fucking style brah!! Gangsta is really getting fucking old.
I mean there isn't even gangsta rap any more
its all hip hop and top 40. Except Lil john or Lil Wayne or whatever that gangly toothed mother fuckers name is. They all got rich. I would call them sell outs, but if someone offered me cash to sell out I would take it in a hot minute. Please some one make me a sell out.
I think that there is something wrong with society when people my age (between 25 and 30ish) start to look at our fiber intake. I know that its done becuase I hear people talking about it in the locker room. I also know about it because I found myself buying a bag of ground flax seed cause I wasn't "consuming enough fiber" Seriously my life has become super inane if I am watching the fiber content of my diet before I am thirty. Its not like I'm not "regular". And yet here I am with the desire to pass a full on lawn furniture set through my colon. Whatever, I will keep eating my prunes and screaming at the TV, I'm really a complaining old man.
And while I am complaining I might as well mention this:
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/04/26/MN05174FPA.DTL
Good old attention whore Tara Hunt. Complains on twitter while drunk about the lack of men in San Francisco's dating pool. uh HELLO you stuck up bitch I'm right here, maybe if you didn't ignore decent guys like me at the bar for that asshole who keeps pouring drinks down your gullet like an goose sucking down whole fish you would notice the decent guys like me looking for a connection. I swear to god women around here are far too uppity. Yea I drive a jalopy, but I have a college degree, I am employed, I am not in debt, I am fairly cultured (aside from the occasional burping contest) I am sober, and while I'm not Adonis, I sure as hell am not the elephant man or that creepy looking fuck from that Cher movie in the 80's you know the one with the face like a mutated kumquat...anyway. Here is Ms. Tara Hunt complaining about the singles scene. You know what Tara, FUCK YOU. Stuck up bitch. Me and my jalopy are going to drive out to the beach and play Frisbee and wait for the decent girls to show up and maybe once you've pulled your head out of your ass and realized that your shallowness is probably what keeps you from finding a decent man you will know you are 10 years too late all of us decent guys will have been snatched up and you can go adopt 5-10 cats from the SPCA and save them from being put down and enjoy your life as Edina the bar cougar from Ab-Fab, being Johnny cums too quick latest conquest. Oh and by the way Tara, great damage control for your drunken twittering. Having an article put in the SF Chronicle about your. You really are an attention whore aren't you.
By the way Tara, if you weren't insulted by my rant, I am single if you wanna meet up.
I may sound angry, and I am, but I really just need a vacation. Or I need to get laid. Until I get one or the other or preferably both, I will just look at my cute aminal pictures to keep me sane and prevent me from stealing a MUNI bus and going on a GTA hooker killing spree. I keed I keed. I could never hurt a hooker, they provide valuable services that help the community as a whole.
Here is your moment of animal goodness:
I am having more and more impatient thoughts like this. Also can someone please tell me how the "gangsta" style of clothing is still a viable fashion. Like really, not to sound too much like a valley girl, but that is so 1994. Can't you get a fucking belt and pants that fit. Socio-economically speaking I understand when poor people still do it to an extent, but realistically speaking, how is affordable to dress like that anymore. Didn't rich white suburban kids drive up the prices on all the gangsta clothes? I remember when you could buy K-Swiss sneakers at Payless for Christ sakes. Now they sell them for over $60 as a classic shoe at Footlocker and Champs. What the fuck!? I mean really and you see these gangstas on the bus, and they just mug the shit out of you, and I swear to god I know most of them would kick my ass like no one's business or stab me or shoot me, and take my shoes. But I still want to punch them in the fucking head and say get a new fucking style brah!! Gangsta is really getting fucking old.
I mean there isn't even gangsta rap any more
its all hip hop and top 40. Except Lil john or Lil Wayne or whatever that gangly toothed mother fuckers name is. They all got rich. I would call them sell outs, but if someone offered me cash to sell out I would take it in a hot minute. Please some one make me a sell out.
I think that there is something wrong with society when people my age (between 25 and 30ish) start to look at our fiber intake. I know that its done becuase I hear people talking about it in the locker room. I also know about it because I found myself buying a bag of ground flax seed cause I wasn't "consuming enough fiber" Seriously my life has become super inane if I am watching the fiber content of my diet before I am thirty. Its not like I'm not "regular". And yet here I am with the desire to pass a full on lawn furniture set through my colon. Whatever, I will keep eating my prunes and screaming at the TV, I'm really a complaining old man.
And while I am complaining I might as well mention this:
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/04/26/MN05174FPA.DTL
Good old attention whore Tara Hunt. Complains on twitter while drunk about the lack of men in San Francisco's dating pool. uh HELLO you stuck up bitch I'm right here, maybe if you didn't ignore decent guys like me at the bar for that asshole who keeps pouring drinks down your gullet like an goose sucking down whole fish you would notice the decent guys like me looking for a connection. I swear to god women around here are far too uppity. Yea I drive a jalopy, but I have a college degree, I am employed, I am not in debt, I am fairly cultured (aside from the occasional burping contest) I am sober, and while I'm not Adonis, I sure as hell am not the elephant man or that creepy looking fuck from that Cher movie in the 80's you know the one with the face like a mutated kumquat...anyway. Here is Ms. Tara Hunt complaining about the singles scene. You know what Tara, FUCK YOU. Stuck up bitch. Me and my jalopy are going to drive out to the beach and play Frisbee and wait for the decent girls to show up and maybe once you've pulled your head out of your ass and realized that your shallowness is probably what keeps you from finding a decent man you will know you are 10 years too late all of us decent guys will have been snatched up and you can go adopt 5-10 cats from the SPCA and save them from being put down and enjoy your life as Edina the bar cougar from Ab-Fab, being Johnny cums too quick latest conquest. Oh and by the way Tara, great damage control for your drunken twittering. Having an article put in the SF Chronicle about your. You really are an attention whore aren't you.
By the way Tara, if you weren't insulted by my rant, I am single if you wanna meet up.
I may sound angry, and I am, but I really just need a vacation. Or I need to get laid. Until I get one or the other or preferably both, I will just look at my cute aminal pictures to keep me sane and prevent me from stealing a MUNI bus and going on a GTA hooker killing spree. I keed I keed. I could never hurt a hooker, they provide valuable services that help the community as a whole.
Here is your moment of animal goodness:
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Right Near the Beach....BOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
I went to the beach on Sunday. It was an absolutely amazing day. I can't wait to go again. Next time, I will have a frisbee, which I bought on Monday. I hope the weather improves. Here are some cellular phone pics of my afternoon there that Pete and I took.
Can't wait for summer.
If you are reading this you should make plans to join me and other crazy people at the beach. NOW NOW NOW, don't wait
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