I had a crush on Amy Fischer growing up. Now I have one on this nutjob. I can't publicly say what I would like to do with her, but I have a feeling she would be into it.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Florida Mom
I just want to put it out there. I think Casey Anthony, the mother who may have killed her daughter in Florida, is dam hot.
I had a crush on Amy Fischer growing up. Now I have one on this nutjob. I can't publicly say what I would like to do with her, but I have a feeling she would be into it.
I had a crush on Amy Fischer growing up. Now I have one on this nutjob. I can't publicly say what I would like to do with her, but I have a feeling she would be into it.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
First Tattoo
So I got a tattoo. Here are the blurry pictures of it:
Go ahead laugh, I like it, I want more of them.
Go ahead laugh, I like it, I want more of them.
Mocha Ice Cream
So lately I have become addicted to Mocha's. It started off with a Mocha Ice Cream I made one Saturday at my mom's house. It has no progressed into a full on Mocha obsession. I must have my mocha's.
I thought I would share my recipe for Mocha Ice Cream with anyone who may be interested. I tend to make my Ice Cream using a Creme Anglaise method. Which is a fancy way of saying I make a flavoured French Custard which I then freeze. I even took some pictures I will share here in case you really do want to make this fantastic Ice Cream, which began my new appreciation of Coffee, Mocha's in particular.
Enjoy!
Ingredients:
3 Tbls. Instant Coffee Grounds
3 Tbls. Unsweetened Cocoa Powder
1 1/3 Cup Sugar
3 Egg Yolks
2 Cups Milk
2 Cups Half and Half
On Medium High Heat Dissolve Coffee Grounds in Milk until Scalding hot (Approx 175 F)
Strain out any un-dissolved coffee rinds/granules
Mix together Sugar, Egg Yolks and Cocoa Powder in a bowl
Pour Hot Milk Mixture into Yolk Bowl Mixture in a stream, whisking constantly to avoid scrambling the egg yolks.
Return Egg/Milk Mixture to stove. Bring up to about 180 F until mixture thickens to a custard like consistency. (Mixture should coat the back of a wooden spoon. Being able to run a line through coated spoon will indicate mixture is at desired doneness) DO NOT BOIL MIXTURE.
Strain Custard, and chill until cool.
Freeze in Ice Cream Maker according to manufacturers instructions.
Allow to freeze 6 hours to overnight to achieve complete freeze.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Catching up on the News Items
I have been VERY busy at work. The Chief Operations Officer has been out of town on a VERY well deserved vacation, and I have been attempting to wear his hat. In the process I have learned that doing his job is extremely tough, if not downright impossible and nasty too.
Anyways I have been saving some articles I wanted to share thoughts on with others and myself. So here I go showcasing my thoughts in no particular order (well that is a lie really they are going in order from oldest to newest) anyway here are my musings on articles I have read over the past couple weeks that made me think, left me dumbstruck or got me so mad I needed to take a shit.
Undeserved children What the fuck? Whose car door handle did these kids shit on to be deserved to be called undeserved? What did they gang up and kill an Ice Cream Man? Oh shit, I had an illiterate moment. It said under-served. That's what happens when you are reactionary and get upset too quickly. Not that I got particularly upset, but I was hoping to hear about some worthless kids.
Local Silence of the Lambs Killer. Well it looks like the SF Bay Area has its own local Buffalo Bill. This articulate and all around creepy fuck decided to kill a woman in about the most horrific way possible. Enough to make the prosecuters bring up the Thomas Harris novel and Jonathan Demme Novel of the same name: Silence of the Lambs. What kind of sick sadistic fuck do you have to be for prosecuters to compare your actions to those of Dr. Hannibal Lecter and Buffalo Bill. You must be a real special guy. This makes me wish we as a society modeled our capital punishments as they speak of in the bible. You know that Old Testament wrathful eye for an eye shit. Execute this barbarian in the same manner that he killed his helpless victim. In this case we would get the state to do the following: dress him in fresh clothes after beating and kicking him into unconsciousness and break seven of his ribs in a boarded up shack somewhere in the middle of the ghetto. As it stands this winner gets two life sentences to think about what he did to this woman, while we get to pay for his meals. I would take solace with this if I KNEW for a fact he was constantly being gang raped in prison with a broken broom handle. If that were the case I would not mind at all for my taxes paying for this troglodytes pudding cup.
No explosives found on this wanna be jihadist. Have you ever been to the airport and seen the sign that has a picture of a bomb and or a gun in a circle with a line through the picture. As in no guns or bombs allowed on the plane. I always wonder who this sign could possibly deter. I imagine the scenario where a terrorist arrives at the airport, sees this sign with the weapons crossed out and says to him/her self Oh shit no bombs allowed, guess I will go home. This sign is not meant for the terrorist I think, it is probably meant for the MENSA members who show up with a fertilizer bomb that they forgot was in their pocket after a long week of working at the religious compound. It serves as a warning to these geniuses that bombs aren't allowed on planes, and that they will have to leave their dung bomb with security. Anyway the guy in this article claimed he had a bomb and apparently didn't. I wonder what he did; strap a bunch of Oscar Meyer wieners to his belly and try to make believe that they were sticks of dynamite and fool as many of his fellow Baytown Texas/Southern California natives into thinking he actually had a weapon. He must have been starved for attention. Hey buddy this is the 21st century, start a blog about your fellow winners, you will get attention, all of two hits a month. Trust me I know all about it.
This story brought a smile to my face This AA candidate was arrested in Bayview/Hunters Point for walking around drunk in public and punched a cop car in the streets. I know what you're thinking; it was dark out, he probably thought it was just another member of the community church,he just couldn't see the lights on the roof or see the black and white colors that distinguish the vehicle as being one of SFPD's. Well not to be the bearer of bad news but this was done in broad daylight, at about 4:42 PM. So this drunk is just another vagabond that our friend Kamala Harris can release and charge with absolutely nothing. Still pretty funny story. Further down the blotter we find another of San Francisco's mentally healthy individuals engaging in more acts involving punching. This guy, in Sunset, was walking around with brass knuckles in what is almost completely a residential neighborhood and smashing postal trucks. Maybe he was an ex-postal employee who was punching the trucks because the post office took away the assault rifle they issued to him when he was hired. Oh and it appears that this trophy winner had Methamphetamine's on him, another piece of the puzzle as to why he would have been walking around and smashing things. I mean when you're high on meth, what's better than smashing things that belong to the man? My guess he hasn't been using meth for very long, or you would think that the paranoia from over use would have set in and an kept in inside his house and away from government vehicles. Amateur.
P-O-T-A-T-O-E So Dan Quale respects Barak Obama eh? I seem to remember a time during the end of the primaries where some were worried that Hillary Clinton would endorse John McCain. Here's something all republicans should be shaking in their boots about: their parties best speller is complimenting the competition. Maybe former veep Quale is an Obamican and planning on not towing the party line. I'm sure Mr. Obama would be exhilarated to know the he was being endorsed by the man Bush Sr. chose to be his running mate because he knew no one would ever harm him knowing that J. Danforth Quale would be next in line...
Another example of someone on meth showing what shining members of society they truly are. This guy beat 8 people to death. Beat 8 people to death. I had to say it twice because that takes gumption. He didn't stab them, or shoot them, or inject them with Clorox in their sleep. He beat them to death. That takes strength of character, or some really good crystal. Apparently this member of high society had a history of fighting with the police. This was said rather casually like you know Bob Jones who has a friendly fight yearly with his neighbor Tom Smith for charity in his backyard. I mean this guy had a history of fighting cops for god sake. I know I know, he may well have been fighting them in court, not on the street. You are probably right a cute young man such as this would never harm anyone, let alone beat 8 people to death. I wonder what his teeth are like. I wonder if he has blackened meth teeth, or if he got that meth high where you go into the bathroom and clean for hours, then spend time picking at your face and chest for non-existent pimples and other blemishes, and then brush your teeth so hard and long you end up with Hollywood pearly whites. MMMM Crest.
Now this guy here should have been a child care professional. Of course I am joking, but you know if he had been a priest it would been a-okay for him to do what he did. You know; rape an under aged girl for years, then use her to attract another girl to your league of pederasts and then kill the second girl because she is your niece, and incest, well that is just wrong. I wonder if this guy has ever been to Baytown, Texas?
Claudine Wong is HOT. Like gorgeous, smoking hot. I won't go into the gritty details of how much I want her to sit on my face and wriggle, oops I slipped. I found her on KTVU, our local fox affiliate in SF one morning while watching tv with my father. We set an under/over bet as to how many times Ms. Wong would say ummm. The under/over was set at 7. Claudine it turned out, used umm 13 times. ( I took over so I won the bet) Obviously Ms. Wong was hired for her superior speaking skills. I just want to thank whatever producer "hired" her. I now turn porn on in the background, turn the volume down on her reporting and pretend like I am watching MTV. It's basically free skin-a-max late night programming.
Peter Cook does not know how to use the internet properly. I guess when your wife is Christie Brinkley and you don't care about throwing away money, spending $13,000 a month on porn is fine. Shit I wish I had been his porn dealer, I would have sold him his hearts content for less than half that price per month. I mean I could find him so good shit too, a better variety and much cheaper too. Ever heard of Crack whores of the Tenderloin, Mr. Cook. Angel Baby is my goddess I will consummate my love with her one day, I digress, Mr. Cook needs to learn how to use the net properly.
This guy is the creative type It takes ingenuity and perhaps inhalation of the fumes of the very substance you've used to commit your crime. That substance, anti-freeze. Forget going out like Socrates, and using Hemlock Tea, no this guy has cajones, he used anti-freeze. I wonder how he thought he'd get away with it. Hasn't he ever seen Oscar winner David Caruso's show, CSI? I love how they show you how to pronounce his name in the article. You know, just in case you want to call him in prison to get instructions on you too can go to jail by poisoning a loved one with miracle grow, I mean, anti-freeze.
Now this is old-west American justice. This should be the modern Scarlett Letter. Have the crime you committed etched onto your chest. Wouldn't that be great, walking down the street you would be able to identify con-artists, rapists, child molesters, murders, arsonists, thieves, etc. Now you know whats up with that guy on Muni who keeps talking to you on the bus, he killed his grandmother. This would also be useful in the prison system. It would easily identify the pederasts for their fellow inmates to ensure that jail-house justice is served, Jeffrey Dahmer style. This George Foreman wanna-be now gets to walk around and proudly display "Wife Beater" on his chest. Wife Beater, that's his name from now on, actually filed a complaint. If I were in charge I would send him to the head of the complaint department, Helen Waite. Yup if he complained to me I would tell him to go to Helen Waite.
Besides being an excellent place to blog, and rant about the news or anything else on your mind, the internet is great place for people to anonymously threaten you. You know its useful for threatening bloggers who write in support of good causes like NAMBLA, Neo-Nazis, or people who post the locations of where illegal biking activity is occuring. I mean you have to have priorities right? Can't have no snitches be rattin out where I be ridin my bike!
There is a new documentary out about the late Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, I really want to see. The film is narrated by Johnny Depp, who gave a great performance as Dr. Thompson in Terry Gilliam's Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. I shall take a look at this film about the father of Gonzo (not the Muppet, the writing style)and write about my thoughts.
I am a fan of the police now that I am sotally tober. As a drug using teen, up to no good, I was not so much a fan of the police. Stories like this, however just make me laugh. Talk about being in the wrong place at the wrong time. The Brain Surgeons at work here are the drug peddlers who decided it would be a good idea to do their transaction right across the street from a Starbucks filled with Martinez's finest. Sheer comedy, you can't make stuff like this up. Too bad we can't sterilize these Golden Globe winners.
Speaking of sterilization, this deuschebag, murdered his own daughter over honor, you know because its not honorable to have a daughter who speaks her mind, and wants to live her own life. No that's blasphemous. He killed his own child, and there are people in this world who spend tens of thousands of dollars to try to get pregnant or adopt a child unsuccessfully, and here goes this guy who had the joy of raising a child, of seeing her develop into a young woman, and he negates all of that joy, because she thinks for herself and wants out of a pre-arranged marriage. This religious zealot actually had the nerve to try and force his daughter to remain in this marriage arranged like she was property, and then STRANGLE her to death for daring to think like she had some say in her own life. What is this 12th century Europe? Are we in Iran or some other fanatical religious country? Did someone not tell me that we are back to behaving as we did in feudal times? If we are let me know I want to own a harem, I want serfs, and I want my own fiefdom. I am reasonably certain that it is the 21st century, and this is the United States of America. So honorable in your eyes or not you overly religious fuck, you do NOT STRANGLE your own daughter for free thinking. This fanatic should be tarred and feathered, and in accordance with the whole biblical thought process of eye for an eye, he should be strangled by a loved one in his own home. Then someone should violate his corpse in some bizarre way and the photos and videos posted on youtube or myspace or whatever the kids use these days. That way he will never get to see Allah in his fucked version of heaven with his 7 subservient virgins. Finally, why pray tell am I not surprised that this happened in Georgia of all places?
ew c
So the governor of Pennsylvania says that the U.S. needs to update its infrastructure. Ummm duh!?!? We have by many standards, aging cities, and we have to pay for programs like needle exchanges, and municipal utilities not education and fixing roads that's silly. Congestion is just getting worse on our highways, which have not had a major overhaul since the fifties when they were built by Eisenhower and prisoners. The traffic is getting worse and worse and soon it will affect commerce more than it already does. There are new cities being built around the world that are brand new and more efficient than we can possibly imagine. We sit around debating EPA regulations, high speed train viability and suicide barriers, while these countries build new cities that will dominate commerce in the near future. If we do not act now we will be left behind with dirt roads, donkey pulled carts, and people sifting through filth for dosh. Sometimes I am surprised we still have opposable thumbs. So yea infrastructure is slightly important. We need to be working on that and our educational system to stay competitive in the global market or risk becoming a third-world country. We also need people like me to get off our soapboxes and help instead of shout. Maybe after I eat my ice cream. Besides talking shit is immensely relieving and funny.
My goddess is single again Now that Sarah Silverman is no longer dating that chubby fuck Jimmy Kimmel, maybe she'll give this chubby noisy opinionated fuck a shot? How about it Sarah? Give me a call, I will watch you f*&^ Matt Damon, and gladly take sloppy seconds or dirty thirds, I bet she talks dirty too, that is so hot. Not only is she gorgeous, but shes funny too. Ahhh I'm in love...(that's a lie...fuck love!).
Ok so Sony has lowered the price of the Playstation 3
I will join the multitude of people who commented on every article regarding this topic and point out the fucking obvious. Sony did not drop the price of the 80GB model, no what they did was upgrade the hard drive on the 40GB model to 80GB (and what big spenders you are, with the volume of Hard Drives purchased by Sony that cost all of what $3?) This means their lowest end model still costs $399. Where is the price cut? I mean forgetting the fact that this new "upgrade" will not include feature that exist on the current 80GB model like 4 USB ports, memory card readers and oh um backwards compatibility, what does Sony take people for? Well what they are really, idiots, but I mean at least the gamers recognized this for what it is: a scam. Sony must think; who wants these features like more controller ports, and backwards compatibility? I know one guy Sony; me. I returned my PS3 after 2 weeks because it had no backwards compatibility. So fuck you Sony. And while we are talking about consoles I have to mention how I love how the comments regarding the Wii from the hard core gamers and executives of Sony and Microsoft(covering their asses). The Wii is referred to as a trend or a niche market console, or it is said that it is not competition for the PS3 or MS360. Umm are we all on the same planet fuck-tards? The last time I went to a store, Wii, PS3 and MS360 consoles and systems were all sold in the same section, so that says retailers and consumers recognize that these items are all similar enough to be lumped together. The Nintendo Wii holds the record for the most sales of units both domestically and internationally, beating out the MS360 which came out a YEAR prior. In fact world wide it has sold more units than the PS3 and MS360 combined. I think that means it is not a trend folks. Hard core gamers have been looking down on the Wii for its lack of HD graphics, or first person shooter games, and saying it is a niche market system. Actually the Wii has opened up new markets for console gaming, and attracted people who never bought console game systems before, or people who havent bought a console in years. That means they are EXPANDING the console market. While the PS3 this last June received a big bump in sales because of the release of one title. That is more of a niche market than the Wii fellas. Hate to be the Econ 101 teacher, but when your market is only hard core gamers like the PS3 and MS360, whereas the Wii is being purchased by the stay at home mom, or the person who hasn't bought a system in 10years thus as I said expanding the market they are no longer a NICHE MARKET. So all you aeronautical engineers playing your MS360 and PS3's the Wii has successfully attracted new diverse audiences to it's platform, the PS3 with a BLU-RAY player hasnt been able to do that? Why is that? And why do I always see people in the comments section saying stupid things like "I own all three systems but the Wii only comes out at parties." Why the fuck do you think that is genius? Cause no one wants to play your game system with ultra cool graphics when there are others around, you know attractive girls and boys who you may want to get with? No they want to have fun, so by your own admission what system comes out? The Wii. Massive props Nintendo, thanks for the awesome product. It's fan boys like these gamers that will keep me out of line this opening weekend for Batman. I really do want to see Heath Ledgers Joker performance, but I refuse to wait in the lines of creepy fan boys to see it. I will wait til a Tuesday night, when things calm down. Ledger and Donnie Darko made such a cute couple now that I think about it. I still hope they release the unedited version of Brokeback, with the Basic Instinct style naughty bits and close ups. It better be noisy too.
Thank god I live in California. I really hope prop 8 fails miserably. Show those religious fanatics from Utah and Arizona where to shove it. They need to stay the fuck out of my state. Gay people have every right to be miserable and married just like straight people do. If marriage was as sacred as the proponents of prop 8 keep saying it is, why aren't they pushing for an initiative to ban divorce? It is so sacred that women in Georgia was murdered by her own father because she didn't want to be in a forced marriage with someone she didn't love. But two people of the same sex who DO love each other, well that's not okay they can't get married. Makes total sense to me. I hope that this initiative is defeated and Californians tell these fuck-bags to eat shit, that we are accepting of love in any form and if you wanna get married come on down. Two people who love each other should have the right to consummate that love regardless of gender or race. California supports the union of two people who love each other, so leave these folks alone, and go back to Baytown, Texas.
As if Jorge Bush couldn't piss me off any more than he already has. Declaring contraceptives, like the birth control pill as abortion? Are you fucking shitting me? Seriously this idea needs to be scrapped, like yesterday. I really wish that Jorge's twin daughters weren't allowed to use the pill when they were slutting it up as party girls, or maybe if they had lived in Baytown, Texas then Jorge would realize what a bad idea this is. Kids fuck, they fuck and they fuck dumb. We need them to use contraceptives, or we end up with more Jorge's and more girls in middle school bathrooms strangling their new born babies. I remember when republicans stood for the rights of the individual, and for less government interference. Nowadays, they increase spending, they worry about whats going on in everyone's bathroom, bedroom and doctors office. This really is not the party of Lincoln and Eisenhower, and this is the reason they will get slammed in November one way or another, time to realize we are not living in the antebellum south any more, this is not reconstruction you dimwits, this is the 21st century. Figure it out. Hell if I can do it, so can you.
So there is my ranting on the last two weeks of news items, like I said many of them riled me up good. In fact I am off to take a shit I am so pissed now.
Anyways I have been saving some articles I wanted to share thoughts on with others and myself. So here I go showcasing my thoughts in no particular order (well that is a lie really they are going in order from oldest to newest) anyway here are my musings on articles I have read over the past couple weeks that made me think, left me dumbstruck or got me so mad I needed to take a shit.
Undeserved children What the fuck? Whose car door handle did these kids shit on to be deserved to be called undeserved? What did they gang up and kill an Ice Cream Man? Oh shit, I had an illiterate moment. It said under-served. That's what happens when you are reactionary and get upset too quickly. Not that I got particularly upset, but I was hoping to hear about some worthless kids.
Local Silence of the Lambs Killer. Well it looks like the SF Bay Area has its own local Buffalo Bill. This articulate and all around creepy fuck decided to kill a woman in about the most horrific way possible. Enough to make the prosecuters bring up the Thomas Harris novel and Jonathan Demme Novel of the same name: Silence of the Lambs. What kind of sick sadistic fuck do you have to be for prosecuters to compare your actions to those of Dr. Hannibal Lecter and Buffalo Bill. You must be a real special guy. This makes me wish we as a society modeled our capital punishments as they speak of in the bible. You know that Old Testament wrathful eye for an eye shit. Execute this barbarian in the same manner that he killed his helpless victim. In this case we would get the state to do the following: dress him in fresh clothes after beating and kicking him into unconsciousness and break seven of his ribs in a boarded up shack somewhere in the middle of the ghetto. As it stands this winner gets two life sentences to think about what he did to this woman, while we get to pay for his meals. I would take solace with this if I KNEW for a fact he was constantly being gang raped in prison with a broken broom handle. If that were the case I would not mind at all for my taxes paying for this troglodytes pudding cup.
No explosives found on this wanna be jihadist. Have you ever been to the airport and seen the sign that has a picture of a bomb and or a gun in a circle with a line through the picture. As in no guns or bombs allowed on the plane. I always wonder who this sign could possibly deter. I imagine the scenario where a terrorist arrives at the airport, sees this sign with the weapons crossed out and says to him/her self Oh shit no bombs allowed, guess I will go home. This sign is not meant for the terrorist I think, it is probably meant for the MENSA members who show up with a fertilizer bomb that they forgot was in their pocket after a long week of working at the religious compound. It serves as a warning to these geniuses that bombs aren't allowed on planes, and that they will have to leave their dung bomb with security. Anyway the guy in this article claimed he had a bomb and apparently didn't. I wonder what he did; strap a bunch of Oscar Meyer wieners to his belly and try to make believe that they were sticks of dynamite and fool as many of his fellow Baytown Texas/Southern California natives into thinking he actually had a weapon. He must have been starved for attention. Hey buddy this is the 21st century, start a blog about your fellow winners, you will get attention, all of two hits a month. Trust me I know all about it.
This story brought a smile to my face This AA candidate was arrested in Bayview/Hunters Point for walking around drunk in public and punched a cop car in the streets. I know what you're thinking; it was dark out, he probably thought it was just another member of the community church,he just couldn't see the lights on the roof or see the black and white colors that distinguish the vehicle as being one of SFPD's. Well not to be the bearer of bad news but this was done in broad daylight, at about 4:42 PM. So this drunk is just another vagabond that our friend Kamala Harris can release and charge with absolutely nothing. Still pretty funny story. Further down the blotter we find another of San Francisco's mentally healthy individuals engaging in more acts involving punching. This guy, in Sunset, was walking around with brass knuckles in what is almost completely a residential neighborhood and smashing postal trucks. Maybe he was an ex-postal employee who was punching the trucks because the post office took away the assault rifle they issued to him when he was hired. Oh and it appears that this trophy winner had Methamphetamine's on him, another piece of the puzzle as to why he would have been walking around and smashing things. I mean when you're high on meth, what's better than smashing things that belong to the man? My guess he hasn't been using meth for very long, or you would think that the paranoia from over use would have set in and an kept in inside his house and away from government vehicles. Amateur.
P-O-T-A-T-O-E So Dan Quale respects Barak Obama eh? I seem to remember a time during the end of the primaries where some were worried that Hillary Clinton would endorse John McCain. Here's something all republicans should be shaking in their boots about: their parties best speller is complimenting the competition. Maybe former veep Quale is an Obamican and planning on not towing the party line. I'm sure Mr. Obama would be exhilarated to know the he was being endorsed by the man Bush Sr. chose to be his running mate because he knew no one would ever harm him knowing that J. Danforth Quale would be next in line...
Another example of someone on meth showing what shining members of society they truly are. This guy beat 8 people to death. Beat 8 people to death. I had to say it twice because that takes gumption. He didn't stab them, or shoot them, or inject them with Clorox in their sleep. He beat them to death. That takes strength of character, or some really good crystal. Apparently this member of high society had a history of fighting with the police. This was said rather casually like you know Bob Jones who has a friendly fight yearly with his neighbor Tom Smith for charity in his backyard. I mean this guy had a history of fighting cops for god sake. I know I know, he may well have been fighting them in court, not on the street. You are probably right a cute young man such as this would never harm anyone, let alone beat 8 people to death. I wonder what his teeth are like. I wonder if he has blackened meth teeth, or if he got that meth high where you go into the bathroom and clean for hours, then spend time picking at your face and chest for non-existent pimples and other blemishes, and then brush your teeth so hard and long you end up with Hollywood pearly whites. MMMM Crest.
Now this guy here should have been a child care professional. Of course I am joking, but you know if he had been a priest it would been a-okay for him to do what he did. You know; rape an under aged girl for years, then use her to attract another girl to your league of pederasts and then kill the second girl because she is your niece, and incest, well that is just wrong. I wonder if this guy has ever been to Baytown, Texas?
Claudine Wong is HOT. Like gorgeous, smoking hot. I won't go into the gritty details of how much I want her to sit on my face and wriggle, oops I slipped. I found her on KTVU, our local fox affiliate in SF one morning while watching tv with my father. We set an under/over bet as to how many times Ms. Wong would say ummm. The under/over was set at 7. Claudine it turned out, used umm 13 times. ( I took over so I won the bet) Obviously Ms. Wong was hired for her superior speaking skills. I just want to thank whatever producer "hired" her. I now turn porn on in the background, turn the volume down on her reporting and pretend like I am watching MTV. It's basically free skin-a-max late night programming.
Peter Cook does not know how to use the internet properly. I guess when your wife is Christie Brinkley and you don't care about throwing away money, spending $13,000 a month on porn is fine. Shit I wish I had been his porn dealer, I would have sold him his hearts content for less than half that price per month. I mean I could find him so good shit too, a better variety and much cheaper too. Ever heard of Crack whores of the Tenderloin, Mr. Cook. Angel Baby is my goddess I will consummate my love with her one day, I digress, Mr. Cook needs to learn how to use the net properly.
This guy is the creative type It takes ingenuity and perhaps inhalation of the fumes of the very substance you've used to commit your crime. That substance, anti-freeze. Forget going out like Socrates, and using Hemlock Tea, no this guy has cajones, he used anti-freeze. I wonder how he thought he'd get away with it. Hasn't he ever seen Oscar winner David Caruso's show, CSI? I love how they show you how to pronounce his name in the article. You know, just in case you want to call him in prison to get instructions on you too can go to jail by poisoning a loved one with miracle grow, I mean, anti-freeze.
Now this is old-west American justice. This should be the modern Scarlett Letter. Have the crime you committed etched onto your chest. Wouldn't that be great, walking down the street you would be able to identify con-artists, rapists, child molesters, murders, arsonists, thieves, etc. Now you know whats up with that guy on Muni who keeps talking to you on the bus, he killed his grandmother. This would also be useful in the prison system. It would easily identify the pederasts for their fellow inmates to ensure that jail-house justice is served, Jeffrey Dahmer style. This George Foreman wanna-be now gets to walk around and proudly display "Wife Beater" on his chest. Wife Beater, that's his name from now on, actually filed a complaint. If I were in charge I would send him to the head of the complaint department, Helen Waite. Yup if he complained to me I would tell him to go to Helen Waite.
Besides being an excellent place to blog, and rant about the news or anything else on your mind, the internet is great place for people to anonymously threaten you. You know its useful for threatening bloggers who write in support of good causes like NAMBLA, Neo-Nazis, or people who post the locations of where illegal biking activity is occuring. I mean you have to have priorities right? Can't have no snitches be rattin out where I be ridin my bike!
There is a new documentary out about the late Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, I really want to see. The film is narrated by Johnny Depp, who gave a great performance as Dr. Thompson in Terry Gilliam's Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. I shall take a look at this film about the father of Gonzo (not the Muppet, the writing style)and write about my thoughts.
I am a fan of the police now that I am sotally tober. As a drug using teen, up to no good, I was not so much a fan of the police. Stories like this, however just make me laugh. Talk about being in the wrong place at the wrong time. The Brain Surgeons at work here are the drug peddlers who decided it would be a good idea to do their transaction right across the street from a Starbucks filled with Martinez's finest. Sheer comedy, you can't make stuff like this up. Too bad we can't sterilize these Golden Globe winners.
Speaking of sterilization, this deuschebag, murdered his own daughter over honor, you know because its not honorable to have a daughter who speaks her mind, and wants to live her own life. No that's blasphemous. He killed his own child, and there are people in this world who spend tens of thousands of dollars to try to get pregnant or adopt a child unsuccessfully, and here goes this guy who had the joy of raising a child, of seeing her develop into a young woman, and he negates all of that joy, because she thinks for herself and wants out of a pre-arranged marriage. This religious zealot actually had the nerve to try and force his daughter to remain in this marriage arranged like she was property, and then STRANGLE her to death for daring to think like she had some say in her own life. What is this 12th century Europe? Are we in Iran or some other fanatical religious country? Did someone not tell me that we are back to behaving as we did in feudal times? If we are let me know I want to own a harem, I want serfs, and I want my own fiefdom. I am reasonably certain that it is the 21st century, and this is the United States of America. So honorable in your eyes or not you overly religious fuck, you do NOT STRANGLE your own daughter for free thinking. This fanatic should be tarred and feathered, and in accordance with the whole biblical thought process of eye for an eye, he should be strangled by a loved one in his own home. Then someone should violate his corpse in some bizarre way and the photos and videos posted on youtube or myspace or whatever the kids use these days. That way he will never get to see Allah in his fucked version of heaven with his 7 subservient virgins. Finally, why pray tell am I not surprised that this happened in Georgia of all places?
ew c
So the governor of Pennsylvania says that the U.S. needs to update its infrastructure. Ummm duh!?!? We have by many standards, aging cities, and we have to pay for programs like needle exchanges, and municipal utilities not education and fixing roads that's silly. Congestion is just getting worse on our highways, which have not had a major overhaul since the fifties when they were built by Eisenhower and prisoners. The traffic is getting worse and worse and soon it will affect commerce more than it already does. There are new cities being built around the world that are brand new and more efficient than we can possibly imagine. We sit around debating EPA regulations, high speed train viability and suicide barriers, while these countries build new cities that will dominate commerce in the near future. If we do not act now we will be left behind with dirt roads, donkey pulled carts, and people sifting through filth for dosh. Sometimes I am surprised we still have opposable thumbs. So yea infrastructure is slightly important. We need to be working on that and our educational system to stay competitive in the global market or risk becoming a third-world country. We also need people like me to get off our soapboxes and help instead of shout. Maybe after I eat my ice cream. Besides talking shit is immensely relieving and funny.
My goddess is single again Now that Sarah Silverman is no longer dating that chubby fuck Jimmy Kimmel, maybe she'll give this chubby noisy opinionated fuck a shot? How about it Sarah? Give me a call, I will watch you f*&^ Matt Damon, and gladly take sloppy seconds or dirty thirds, I bet she talks dirty too, that is so hot. Not only is she gorgeous, but shes funny too. Ahhh I'm in love...(that's a lie...fuck love!).
Ok so Sony has lowered the price of the Playstation 3
I will join the multitude of people who commented on every article regarding this topic and point out the fucking obvious. Sony did not drop the price of the 80GB model, no what they did was upgrade the hard drive on the 40GB model to 80GB (and what big spenders you are, with the volume of Hard Drives purchased by Sony that cost all of what $3?) This means their lowest end model still costs $399. Where is the price cut? I mean forgetting the fact that this new "upgrade" will not include feature that exist on the current 80GB model like 4 USB ports, memory card readers and oh um backwards compatibility, what does Sony take people for? Well what they are really, idiots, but I mean at least the gamers recognized this for what it is: a scam. Sony must think; who wants these features like more controller ports, and backwards compatibility? I know one guy Sony; me. I returned my PS3 after 2 weeks because it had no backwards compatibility. So fuck you Sony. And while we are talking about consoles I have to mention how I love how the comments regarding the Wii from the hard core gamers and executives of Sony and Microsoft(covering their asses). The Wii is referred to as a trend or a niche market console, or it is said that it is not competition for the PS3 or MS360. Umm are we all on the same planet fuck-tards? The last time I went to a store, Wii, PS3 and MS360 consoles and systems were all sold in the same section, so that says retailers and consumers recognize that these items are all similar enough to be lumped together. The Nintendo Wii holds the record for the most sales of units both domestically and internationally, beating out the MS360 which came out a YEAR prior. In fact world wide it has sold more units than the PS3 and MS360 combined. I think that means it is not a trend folks. Hard core gamers have been looking down on the Wii for its lack of HD graphics, or first person shooter games, and saying it is a niche market system. Actually the Wii has opened up new markets for console gaming, and attracted people who never bought console game systems before, or people who havent bought a console in years. That means they are EXPANDING the console market. While the PS3 this last June received a big bump in sales because of the release of one title. That is more of a niche market than the Wii fellas. Hate to be the Econ 101 teacher, but when your market is only hard core gamers like the PS3 and MS360, whereas the Wii is being purchased by the stay at home mom, or the person who hasn't bought a system in 10years thus as I said expanding the market they are no longer a NICHE MARKET. So all you aeronautical engineers playing your MS360 and PS3's the Wii has successfully attracted new diverse audiences to it's platform, the PS3 with a BLU-RAY player hasnt been able to do that? Why is that? And why do I always see people in the comments section saying stupid things like "I own all three systems but the Wii only comes out at parties." Why the fuck do you think that is genius? Cause no one wants to play your game system with ultra cool graphics when there are others around, you know attractive girls and boys who you may want to get with? No they want to have fun, so by your own admission what system comes out? The Wii. Massive props Nintendo, thanks for the awesome product. It's fan boys like these gamers that will keep me out of line this opening weekend for Batman. I really do want to see Heath Ledgers Joker performance, but I refuse to wait in the lines of creepy fan boys to see it. I will wait til a Tuesday night, when things calm down. Ledger and Donnie Darko made such a cute couple now that I think about it. I still hope they release the unedited version of Brokeback, with the Basic Instinct style naughty bits and close ups. It better be noisy too.
Thank god I live in California. I really hope prop 8 fails miserably. Show those religious fanatics from Utah and Arizona where to shove it. They need to stay the fuck out of my state. Gay people have every right to be miserable and married just like straight people do. If marriage was as sacred as the proponents of prop 8 keep saying it is, why aren't they pushing for an initiative to ban divorce? It is so sacred that women in Georgia was murdered by her own father because she didn't want to be in a forced marriage with someone she didn't love. But two people of the same sex who DO love each other, well that's not okay they can't get married. Makes total sense to me. I hope that this initiative is defeated and Californians tell these fuck-bags to eat shit, that we are accepting of love in any form and if you wanna get married come on down. Two people who love each other should have the right to consummate that love regardless of gender or race. California supports the union of two people who love each other, so leave these folks alone, and go back to Baytown, Texas.
As if Jorge Bush couldn't piss me off any more than he already has. Declaring contraceptives, like the birth control pill as abortion? Are you fucking shitting me? Seriously this idea needs to be scrapped, like yesterday. I really wish that Jorge's twin daughters weren't allowed to use the pill when they were slutting it up as party girls, or maybe if they had lived in Baytown, Texas then Jorge would realize what a bad idea this is. Kids fuck, they fuck and they fuck dumb. We need them to use contraceptives, or we end up with more Jorge's and more girls in middle school bathrooms strangling their new born babies. I remember when republicans stood for the rights of the individual, and for less government interference. Nowadays, they increase spending, they worry about whats going on in everyone's bathroom, bedroom and doctors office. This really is not the party of Lincoln and Eisenhower, and this is the reason they will get slammed in November one way or another, time to realize we are not living in the antebellum south any more, this is not reconstruction you dimwits, this is the 21st century. Figure it out. Hell if I can do it, so can you.
So there is my ranting on the last two weeks of news items, like I said many of them riled me up good. In fact I am off to take a shit I am so pissed now.
there are no answers
Yesterday I was reading an advice column about "why nice guys never get the girl" (Just for shits and giggles I will point out that the columnist was a woman so she MUST have better insight than a male columnist right?). To paraphrase what she said, women never go for the nice guy, the guy who dotes on them, listens to them, who is always available to them, because those characteristics are signs of "weakness". The reasons she says that women go for the guy who blows her off, or seems uninterested in her, or more interested in himself, is because that is a sign of strength.
Part of me understands and agrees with what this column says. But what about women. Are they relegated to this position of needing to be weak for this "Strong" man? If so why do they always cry on the shoulder of their always waiting friend-male when this "strong" man hurts them. Its very interesting. I think a lot of it has to do with the strange dynamic in relationships that the women's movement created. Now don't get me wrong I am all for equal rights for women. I think they should be able to vote, earn equal pay, own property, serve on the front lines. I think equality is a good thing. But I think somehow during the the women's lib movement, men became weak (see Sally Kellerman's speech to Rodney Dangerfield during dinner in the film "Back to School" for a more eloquently stated version of my opinion), and soft because they thought that was how we "get the girl"
The truth is its finding a balance between the two that creates a good spark I think. But what do I know I am single and have been for a week less than two years (not that I am counting mind you). Whatever, the truth is women, actually all of us, especially in our twenties and teens and youth in general are indecisive as hell and don't know what the hell we want. So when it happens it happens. I think a better thing for the columnist to say to the nice guy would have been don't fall all over for another person, be strong enough and love YOURSELF enough to realize that you mean just as much as they do, and that if they don't return the affection you are giving, then stop. See what happens. This is probably true for both genders. But I am a male blogger, so my opinion only has credence for males, right?
Am I nice guy. Hell no, I am an asshole. But I have been in that situation too many times where I was infatuated with a female friend, who had boyfriend troubles and cried on my shoulder. And I didn't even get laid. Mostly cause I "didn't see a moment for making a move" whatever, I should have MADE that moment. Ha! 20/20 hindsight is a total bitch ain't it? I even once had a girl I liked come by tipsy sit in my bed at 2am and tell me how she wanted a fuck buddy, and I talked about how I was past such things. Uh- HELLO. But its all good she is a great friend, and I am happy she is happy with her boyfriend again....right? No really I am happy for her. Text makes it hard to tell sarcasm, but in the end I probably saved myself from some drama, and some hot sex. Her loss. I give women great orgasms.
Love sucks. Finding love is hard enough, but losing it. That is a whole other story. I think one of my favorite Comic writers, Brian K. Vaughan said it very well: "no matter how smart and worldly you might be, almost everyone is naive enough to believe that the first time you fall in love might be the last. You just can't imagine it ever ending, and yet it almost always does. Probably nothing short of the death of a child will ever hurt as much as that first heartbreak, but that is the price of admission to being a full-fledged member of the human race." {GOOD-BYE TO Y II: BRIAN K VAUGHAN, II Newsarama.com January 29, 2008} Mr. Vaughan, you hit the nail on the head with that. I hope I never have to deal with that pain again. It's always funny to me how things pop up when you least expect, want or need them.
Like when you have just gotten over that pain of the first love, she shows up again. You promise yourself you won't let her in again, won't let her hurt you, but you might be a little weak still in your heart. It is hard to stay mad at someone you truly love, even when they hurt you that badly I suppose. Maybe you feel guilty for your part in what resulted in the ending of your love. Who knows. But she shows up, because her last boyfriend dumped her, and you help her out, perhaps by being that nice guy you never were when you were together, and she smells that weakness the columnist describes, and takes advantage of it.
She uses you to feel better about herself, even goes so far as to describe what a great lover you were, how horny she is, etc. etc. And you keep coming back for more emotional torment. Where was she when you were trying to get over her? She was with her new man, having totally forgot about you. But when he dumps her you help her pick up the pieces. Sounds fair right?
Not that this happened to me, but it could have. We all fall victim to our demons, guilt and love, especially when they come back to haunt us at a VERY in opportune time. So whatever. Now that she feels better, she has a new man, or maybe even that same guy she took up with when she forgot about you, where does that leave you? In the same pain you were when she left, but a little bit wiser. Women are crafty creatures, but I imagine that guys do this to girls to, I just happen to see it from the male point of view so I am biased I guess.
I think the nerd in me says Star Trek sums up heart break best:
W: I miss her. I feel so empty
G: I know that sensation.
W: I'm never going to feel this way about anyone else.
G: You're right.
W: I didn't expect you to say that.
G: Oh, there will be others -- but, the next time you feel love will be different. Each time is different.
W: Knowing that doesn't make it any easier.
G: It isn't supposed to.
Guinan's words are spot on. There is no easy way out of that pain. It takes time, personal strength and learning. The person you become is often stronger and better after you have had your heart broken. The feelings will never be the same. But it takes time to realize this. I really wish I had heard this 1 year ago when I was in the shitter over my heart break. But as Guinan said, it wouldn't have made it any easier. Fuck Love.
It makes me think of the song by the rapture: Pieces of the people we love
"Cuz everbody's got a piece of someone they hide.
It's okay its the way we distract until the day that we die.
And though our future's gone uncertain it's gonna be all right.
Cuz though I'm leaving longing leaves me ever by your side."
We all have past loves and people we care about hidden inside us. Friends/lovers lost to us for whatever reason that have impacted our lives and though we may never see them again, we hold them in our hearts and minds for all the good they brought us. Even when its time to say no more, my guilt over what happened will not rule my actions any longer, the longing to have them back will always be with us. Sad really but its all a part of our life and experience and helps us grow to be better people and ready for that next person. It is, as Mr. Vaughan said so well, part of the price of being human. Being human sucks. I would rather be a god.
I feel like I am whining in some way, but I am not, just some thoughts that came out when I read that column about nice guys. Not that I consider myself nice. I am an asshole. If you knew some of the things I had done in my life you would agree. "If you knew my story word for word, had all of my history, would you still go along with someone like me?"
Yea but I have this wonderful blog to rant with. Makes things so easy, and good and public for all the one or two people that find it by accident. What is really funny is how many of us deal with this stuff all the time, and the different ways of dealing with it. Some say FUCK love and go about life in a solitary way. Others just trudge along and find new love.
Part of me understands and agrees with what this column says. But what about women. Are they relegated to this position of needing to be weak for this "Strong" man? If so why do they always cry on the shoulder of their always waiting friend-male when this "strong" man hurts them. Its very interesting. I think a lot of it has to do with the strange dynamic in relationships that the women's movement created. Now don't get me wrong I am all for equal rights for women. I think they should be able to vote, earn equal pay, own property, serve on the front lines. I think equality is a good thing. But I think somehow during the the women's lib movement, men became weak (see Sally Kellerman's speech to Rodney Dangerfield during dinner in the film "Back to School" for a more eloquently stated version of my opinion), and soft because they thought that was how we "get the girl"
The truth is its finding a balance between the two that creates a good spark I think. But what do I know I am single and have been for a week less than two years (not that I am counting mind you). Whatever, the truth is women, actually all of us, especially in our twenties and teens and youth in general are indecisive as hell and don't know what the hell we want. So when it happens it happens. I think a better thing for the columnist to say to the nice guy would have been don't fall all over for another person, be strong enough and love YOURSELF enough to realize that you mean just as much as they do, and that if they don't return the affection you are giving, then stop. See what happens. This is probably true for both genders. But I am a male blogger, so my opinion only has credence for males, right?
Am I nice guy. Hell no, I am an asshole. But I have been in that situation too many times where I was infatuated with a female friend, who had boyfriend troubles and cried on my shoulder. And I didn't even get laid. Mostly cause I "didn't see a moment for making a move" whatever, I should have MADE that moment. Ha! 20/20 hindsight is a total bitch ain't it? I even once had a girl I liked come by tipsy sit in my bed at 2am and tell me how she wanted a fuck buddy, and I talked about how I was past such things. Uh- HELLO. But its all good she is a great friend, and I am happy she is happy with her boyfriend again....right? No really I am happy for her. Text makes it hard to tell sarcasm, but in the end I probably saved myself from some drama, and some hot sex. Her loss. I give women great orgasms.
Love sucks. Finding love is hard enough, but losing it. That is a whole other story. I think one of my favorite Comic writers, Brian K. Vaughan said it very well: "no matter how smart and worldly you might be, almost everyone is naive enough to believe that the first time you fall in love might be the last. You just can't imagine it ever ending, and yet it almost always does. Probably nothing short of the death of a child will ever hurt as much as that first heartbreak, but that is the price of admission to being a full-fledged member of the human race." {GOOD-BYE TO Y II: BRIAN K VAUGHAN, II Newsarama.com January 29, 2008} Mr. Vaughan, you hit the nail on the head with that. I hope I never have to deal with that pain again. It's always funny to me how things pop up when you least expect, want or need them.
Like when you have just gotten over that pain of the first love, she shows up again. You promise yourself you won't let her in again, won't let her hurt you, but you might be a little weak still in your heart. It is hard to stay mad at someone you truly love, even when they hurt you that badly I suppose. Maybe you feel guilty for your part in what resulted in the ending of your love. Who knows. But she shows up, because her last boyfriend dumped her, and you help her out, perhaps by being that nice guy you never were when you were together, and she smells that weakness the columnist describes, and takes advantage of it.
She uses you to feel better about herself, even goes so far as to describe what a great lover you were, how horny she is, etc. etc. And you keep coming back for more emotional torment. Where was she when you were trying to get over her? She was with her new man, having totally forgot about you. But when he dumps her you help her pick up the pieces. Sounds fair right?
Not that this happened to me, but it could have. We all fall victim to our demons, guilt and love, especially when they come back to haunt us at a VERY in opportune time. So whatever. Now that she feels better, she has a new man, or maybe even that same guy she took up with when she forgot about you, where does that leave you? In the same pain you were when she left, but a little bit wiser. Women are crafty creatures, but I imagine that guys do this to girls to, I just happen to see it from the male point of view so I am biased I guess.
I think the nerd in me says Star Trek sums up heart break best:
W: I miss her. I feel so empty
G: I know that sensation.
W: I'm never going to feel this way about anyone else.
G: You're right.
W: I didn't expect you to say that.
G: Oh, there will be others -- but, the next time you feel love will be different. Each time is different.
W: Knowing that doesn't make it any easier.
G: It isn't supposed to.
Guinan's words are spot on. There is no easy way out of that pain. It takes time, personal strength and learning. The person you become is often stronger and better after you have had your heart broken. The feelings will never be the same. But it takes time to realize this. I really wish I had heard this 1 year ago when I was in the shitter over my heart break. But as Guinan said, it wouldn't have made it any easier. Fuck Love.
It makes me think of the song by the rapture: Pieces of the people we love
"Cuz everbody's got a piece of someone they hide.
It's okay its the way we distract until the day that we die.
And though our future's gone uncertain it's gonna be all right.
Cuz though I'm leaving longing leaves me ever by your side."
We all have past loves and people we care about hidden inside us. Friends/lovers lost to us for whatever reason that have impacted our lives and though we may never see them again, we hold them in our hearts and minds for all the good they brought us. Even when its time to say no more, my guilt over what happened will not rule my actions any longer, the longing to have them back will always be with us. Sad really but its all a part of our life and experience and helps us grow to be better people and ready for that next person. It is, as Mr. Vaughan said so well, part of the price of being human. Being human sucks. I would rather be a god.
I feel like I am whining in some way, but I am not, just some thoughts that came out when I read that column about nice guys. Not that I consider myself nice. I am an asshole. If you knew some of the things I had done in my life you would agree. "If you knew my story word for word, had all of my history, would you still go along with someone like me?"
Yea but I have this wonderful blog to rant with. Makes things so easy, and good and public for all the one or two people that find it by accident. What is really funny is how many of us deal with this stuff all the time, and the different ways of dealing with it. Some say FUCK love and go about life in a solitary way. Others just trudge along and find new love.
Friday, June 27, 2008
Workers of the world unite
Some observations I had on the world around me:
I read the news in some fashion every day. Be it reading that communist pinko rag The Chronicle, which serves an extra function for wiping if I run out of toilet paper, or simply by having Google news up on my computer screen constantly. I like to think that I keep abreast of what is going on in the world around me. Some of the actions that my fellow human beings engage in, shock me to the core. For instance
The headline of this story, which read: "Texas Teen Faces Capital Murder Charges in Bathroom Death of Her Newborn.'
Right off the bat you know I am a sick fuck because the headline was interesting enough to me to grab my attention and get me to click on the story. The lead was where I found out what kind of a "winning" member of society we were dealing with here: BAYTOWN, Texas - A 14-year-old girl who secretly gave birth in a school bathroom was charged with capital murder Thursday by police, who said she killed the newborn by chocking and flushing him in the toilet.
A 14 year old girl strangling her baby in a middle school restroom?? What the fuck? Where was this girl when I was a horn dog pimply faced teenager in middle school. I mean I know who my eighth grade equivalent of this young go-getter was in my middle school class (Class of 94 if you are curious), but even my schools version of this charm school reject was smart enough to not commit such crimes ON FUCKING CAMPUS! I mean we had a girl in my class that was slutty and dumb enough to get pregnant, but to kill it at school, that takes a valedictorian folks. I'm sorry I don't blame the parents, I blame the entire gene pool of the family, which is probably the section of the pool that the slow children urinate in. And just because its popular to do right now, I will throw some blame in the direction of Jamie Lynn Spears. This 14yo Ma Barker will be added to my list of "worthwhile" Texans:
Alberto Gonzales
George W. Bush (the current president for those who aren't good at social studies)
Anna Nicole Smith
Gary Busey (Yes I love him too but let's face it hes a crack head although entertaining)
David Koresh
John Hinkley (For you social studies major hes the guy who shot to Reagan and James Brady which gave us the Brady bill)
14 year old girl who strangles and drowns baby in school restroom
The Dallas Cowboys
The kind folks at Enron
For those of you who are curious enough to want to know just where Baytown, Texas is, I looked it up.
Baytown is close enough to an urban sprawl in Texas, that you wouldn't think this kind of thing would happen, but let's face it, the more people in a given area, the more chances for stupidity there are. Its basic statistics, larger population yields larger probability of stupidity. You would think this kind of think would only happen out in the sticks, but its not just a po-dunk hick town kind of thing anymore, now the big city girls are doing it too. I mean just look at the Mensa members of Gloucester Massachusetts, who may or may not have entered into a pregnancy pact. Boy I would honestly love it if one of the fathers really was a 24 year old homeless guy...anyway I'm getting off topic....
I guess the point is that kids today are so stupid that a majority of them should be walking around with safety helmets and chastity belts on not only to protect themselves from their stupidity, but to protect the rest of us as well.
Next on the agenda is some local news. I live in Northern California, so bear with me as I share some of my communities brilliance. (Further proof that noone is perfect, we all have reeree moments.) As you can tell from my rant so far, I poke fun at Texas, you can also lump Southern California in that category of favorite targets. Well shit happens everywhere and it just smells worse when its in your own backyard. Case in point.
This article details restaurants in the county of Marin that have not posted the required signage nor have a health inspection report readily available for customers and Joe Q. Average to peruse. What the fuck? Why conceal something like this? One of my favorite parts of this article is the excuse provided by the manager of Max's Cafe in Corte Madera
"State law requires restaurants to post sings advising customers of their rights to see eateries' most recent health inspection reports but, on Monday Manger Joe Breen of Max's Restaurant in Corte Madera wasn't sure.
After 10 minutes in the back room, Breen told an Independent Journal reporter his corporate office would not allow him to supply the inspection document because "You could be anyone off the street.""
Umm excuse me numb nuts that's the point of the law to allow ANYONE off the street to see the health inspection report. Now don't get me wrong I love eating at a good hole in the wall joint that has cockroach infested salads (Henry's on Balboa is good eating). Those are the places that I usually get the best Thai, Mexican and Chinese food among other favorites. But Max's is part of a chain, my frankly if I am crazy enough to eat at a chain, I would expect they have a higher standard of cleanliness than mom and pop hole in the wall insect eatery does. You know because they have actual employees, not just relatives who they pull out of school early, or grandma who is really flatulent working the front counter. They also have some of the higher priced amenities at chain restaurants like, dishwashers.
All these things being said some of the attitudes exhibited by these restaurant proprietors are absolutely hilarious, if not down right scary. "A staff member at Sam's Anchor Cafe in Tiburon contended its inspection was "our private information." But the restaurant quickly produced its report after a staffer reviewed its posted sing with a reporter."
Are you kidding me, what are you from San Diego or Baytown? The fucking card you display in the front of the restaurant tells you that you have to release it to anyone and you need a reporter to read along like its story time in kindergarten? "Now Bobby the card says you have to SHARE your inspection report." "Ok Mrs. Dingleberry I will share my inspection report." "Bobby your such a good little sheiser" "Thank you Mrs. Dingleberry."
Back to the short bus with you. Thanks to the article I have a list of places I will be avoiding until they figure out what to do with their "intelligence challenged" employees:
Max's Cafe in Corte Madera
Sam's Anchor Cafe in Tiburon
Civic Center Cafe in San Rafael (This one is my favorite from the article as it is literally across the hall from the county's health service department. could you be any dumber, Darwin award people...Christmas...)
Casa Ma-Ana in Fairfax
Depot Bookstore and Cafe in Mill Valley
Barefoot Cafe in Fairfax
Il Fornaio in Corte Madera
Really why do I care if I do enjoy eating at a place that gives out cockroaches with its toppings (Hi Henry's)? Because its blatant employee stupidity like these examples that lead to people not washing the tomatoes, which is the cause of all this salmonella hoopla, and making it harder for me to get my fucking bruschetta. Wash the tomatoes, and wash your hands after you wipe your ass crack with them you nasty fucks!
The next article I read was about a woman in New York who apparently was not informed that slavery ended with the emancipation proclamation. Even though it is about 145 years old and was written by the administration of the 16th president and we are on president # 43 now.
I really wish I was filthy rich enough so that I could trample on the lives of others and buy and sell people like chickens on Clement. (Not really, but I do want that kind of money) I swear we fought a war over this slavery thing sometime back in the 19th century, and yet here we are in the 21st century and some people still don't get it.
Anyway this Miss Congeniality contestant was caught with 2 slaves and convicted "of forced labor, peonage, harboring aliens, document servitude and conspiracy in what prosecutors called a "case of modern-day slavery." Peonage. You know we are dealing with mid-evil shit when they bring out verbiage that hearkens back to fiefdom and feudal times. Peonage. Whats next? Vassals poaching deer on the kings land? Plebeians trying to get suffrage?
The lead of this story made me think I was reading about a plantation located in Tennessee in the late 1800's but now this happened in a "Yankee" northern state, in 2007 no less. "NEW YORK (Reuters)- A wealthy New York woman was sentenced to 11 years in prison on Thursday for keeping two Indonesian women as slaves, forcing them to work up to 20 hours a day for years after confiscating their passports."
The last article I read got my goat as well.. Mmmm goat... anyway here goes. AIDS cases up in men who have sex with men -
Now this is nothing new really because we all know that Ronald Reagan and the CIA invented AIDS back in the 80's to dwindle down the population of homosexuals in some fanatical religious government conspiracy. I can't prove that and am being facetious, but if it turned out to be true i really wouldn't be shocked. Nothing evangelicals do these days surprises me.... anyway...
What really bothered me about this article was teh definition of the people who this was affecting. "Public health experts use the term "men who have sex with men", or MSM, because many of these men are not strickly homosexual or even bisexual." Now hold on a second. If you are having sex with a man, and you are a man aren't you obviously a Man having sex with a man (MSM)? I mean the first time its curious, second time your just making sure, but anything after three and you like it, im sorry it aint a one time thing. Now I hate labels, but where I come from if it looks like shit, smells like shit, chances are its shit. And by golly if you are fucking someone of the same sex, after 3 times, you are either gay or bi. I mean since when do you have a sexual relationship with someone of the same sex and are not gay or bi? Did I miss the boat somewhere. Whats the point in terms like gay, bi, transgendered, Paris Hilton, if we aren't using them anymore. By my book if you are screwing someone of the same sex you are one of the above.
And speaking of Homosexuality, can anyone please give me a reason why people are opposed to gay marriage. I mean seriously I have yet to hear a decent argument against giving homosexuals the right to marry and be miserable like the rest of society. Marriage is neither special nor sacred, so what is all the fuss about. Are you afraid of giving DINKS (Double Income No Kids) tax breaks? So why would someone want to deny a segment of the population rights that others enjoy? Other than the fact that you might be from central/southern California, or Baytown Texas and or some other crazy redneck village/shantytown? Seriously.
The article brings to mind the last time I was in a porn shop and perusing the gay wall. I noticed an awful lot of "Bareback (no condom) porn being sold. In fact outside of the porn shop on Polk St., the store boasted a wall length banner advertising its selection of "Bareback" porn. (my favorite title was Bareback Mountain but lets stay on topic..) Now don't get me wrong I am all for raw sexual relations, but lets be real here, if you advertise bareback porn as anything other than a marital aid, and we know in Utah they don't want "the gays" to get married, then you are just promoting bareback culture. Lets not forget that when you sleep with someone you sleep with everyone they ever slept with by proxy. This means if you are having unprotected "bareback" sex there are consequences, like an increase in MSM AIDS cases, or getting a 14 year old girl in Baytown Texas pregnant, or 17 girls in Gloucester pregnant. So the schools need to keep promoting condom use and other safe sex practices, cause once kids get a hold of porn now a days, they will end up doing each other until they get AIDS or fetuses to flush in the middle school toilet.
I have said my part. I am off to the porn shoppe to find me some bareback porn.
I read the news in some fashion every day. Be it reading that communist pinko rag The Chronicle, which serves an extra function for wiping if I run out of toilet paper, or simply by having Google news up on my computer screen constantly. I like to think that I keep abreast of what is going on in the world around me. Some of the actions that my fellow human beings engage in, shock me to the core. For instance
The headline of this story, which read: "Texas Teen Faces Capital Murder Charges in Bathroom Death of Her Newborn.'
Right off the bat you know I am a sick fuck because the headline was interesting enough to me to grab my attention and get me to click on the story. The lead was where I found out what kind of a "winning" member of society we were dealing with here: BAYTOWN, Texas - A 14-year-old girl who secretly gave birth in a school bathroom was charged with capital murder Thursday by police, who said she killed the newborn by chocking and flushing him in the toilet.
A 14 year old girl strangling her baby in a middle school restroom?? What the fuck? Where was this girl when I was a horn dog pimply faced teenager in middle school. I mean I know who my eighth grade equivalent of this young go-getter was in my middle school class (Class of 94 if you are curious), but even my schools version of this charm school reject was smart enough to not commit such crimes ON FUCKING CAMPUS! I mean we had a girl in my class that was slutty and dumb enough to get pregnant, but to kill it at school, that takes a valedictorian folks. I'm sorry I don't blame the parents, I blame the entire gene pool of the family, which is probably the section of the pool that the slow children urinate in. And just because its popular to do right now, I will throw some blame in the direction of Jamie Lynn Spears. This 14yo Ma Barker will be added to my list of "worthwhile" Texans:
Alberto Gonzales
George W. Bush (the current president for those who aren't good at social studies)
Anna Nicole Smith
Gary Busey (Yes I love him too but let's face it hes a crack head although entertaining)
David Koresh
John Hinkley (For you social studies major hes the guy who shot to Reagan and James Brady which gave us the Brady bill)
14 year old girl who strangles and drowns baby in school restroom
The Dallas Cowboys
The kind folks at Enron
For those of you who are curious enough to want to know just where Baytown, Texas is, I looked it up.
Baytown is close enough to an urban sprawl in Texas, that you wouldn't think this kind of thing would happen, but let's face it, the more people in a given area, the more chances for stupidity there are. Its basic statistics, larger population yields larger probability of stupidity. You would think this kind of think would only happen out in the sticks, but its not just a po-dunk hick town kind of thing anymore, now the big city girls are doing it too. I mean just look at the Mensa members of Gloucester Massachusetts, who may or may not have entered into a pregnancy pact. Boy I would honestly love it if one of the fathers really was a 24 year old homeless guy...anyway I'm getting off topic....
I guess the point is that kids today are so stupid that a majority of them should be walking around with safety helmets and chastity belts on not only to protect themselves from their stupidity, but to protect the rest of us as well.
Next on the agenda is some local news. I live in Northern California, so bear with me as I share some of my communities brilliance. (Further proof that noone is perfect, we all have reeree moments.) As you can tell from my rant so far, I poke fun at Texas, you can also lump Southern California in that category of favorite targets. Well shit happens everywhere and it just smells worse when its in your own backyard. Case in point.
This article details restaurants in the county of Marin that have not posted the required signage nor have a health inspection report readily available for customers and Joe Q. Average to peruse. What the fuck? Why conceal something like this? One of my favorite parts of this article is the excuse provided by the manager of Max's Cafe in Corte Madera
"State law requires restaurants to post sings advising customers of their rights to see eateries' most recent health inspection reports but, on Monday Manger Joe Breen of Max's Restaurant in Corte Madera wasn't sure.
After 10 minutes in the back room, Breen told an Independent Journal reporter his corporate office would not allow him to supply the inspection document because "You could be anyone off the street.""
Umm excuse me numb nuts that's the point of the law to allow ANYONE off the street to see the health inspection report. Now don't get me wrong I love eating at a good hole in the wall joint that has cockroach infested salads (Henry's on Balboa is good eating). Those are the places that I usually get the best Thai, Mexican and Chinese food among other favorites. But Max's is part of a chain, my frankly if I am crazy enough to eat at a chain, I would expect they have a higher standard of cleanliness than mom and pop hole in the wall insect eatery does. You know because they have actual employees, not just relatives who they pull out of school early, or grandma who is really flatulent working the front counter. They also have some of the higher priced amenities at chain restaurants like, dishwashers.
All these things being said some of the attitudes exhibited by these restaurant proprietors are absolutely hilarious, if not down right scary. "A staff member at Sam's Anchor Cafe in Tiburon contended its inspection was "our private information." But the restaurant quickly produced its report after a staffer reviewed its posted sing with a reporter."
Are you kidding me, what are you from San Diego or Baytown? The fucking card you display in the front of the restaurant tells you that you have to release it to anyone and you need a reporter to read along like its story time in kindergarten? "Now Bobby the card says you have to SHARE your inspection report." "Ok Mrs. Dingleberry I will share my inspection report." "Bobby your such a good little sheiser" "Thank you Mrs. Dingleberry."
Back to the short bus with you. Thanks to the article I have a list of places I will be avoiding until they figure out what to do with their "intelligence challenged" employees:
Max's Cafe in Corte Madera
Sam's Anchor Cafe in Tiburon
Civic Center Cafe in San Rafael (This one is my favorite from the article as it is literally across the hall from the county's health service department. could you be any dumber, Darwin award people...Christmas...)
Casa Ma-Ana in Fairfax
Depot Bookstore and Cafe in Mill Valley
Barefoot Cafe in Fairfax
Il Fornaio in Corte Madera
Really why do I care if I do enjoy eating at a place that gives out cockroaches with its toppings (Hi Henry's)? Because its blatant employee stupidity like these examples that lead to people not washing the tomatoes, which is the cause of all this salmonella hoopla, and making it harder for me to get my fucking bruschetta. Wash the tomatoes, and wash your hands after you wipe your ass crack with them you nasty fucks!
The next article I read was about a woman in New York who apparently was not informed that slavery ended with the emancipation proclamation. Even though it is about 145 years old and was written by the administration of the 16th president and we are on president # 43 now.
I really wish I was filthy rich enough so that I could trample on the lives of others and buy and sell people like chickens on Clement. (Not really, but I do want that kind of money) I swear we fought a war over this slavery thing sometime back in the 19th century, and yet here we are in the 21st century and some people still don't get it.
Anyway this Miss Congeniality contestant was caught with 2 slaves and convicted "of forced labor, peonage, harboring aliens, document servitude and conspiracy in what prosecutors called a "case of modern-day slavery." Peonage. You know we are dealing with mid-evil shit when they bring out verbiage that hearkens back to fiefdom and feudal times. Peonage. Whats next? Vassals poaching deer on the kings land? Plebeians trying to get suffrage?
The lead of this story made me think I was reading about a plantation located in Tennessee in the late 1800's but now this happened in a "Yankee" northern state, in 2007 no less. "NEW YORK (Reuters)- A wealthy New York woman was sentenced to 11 years in prison on Thursday for keeping two Indonesian women as slaves, forcing them to work up to 20 hours a day for years after confiscating their passports."
The last article I read got my goat as well.. Mmmm goat... anyway here goes. AIDS cases up in men who have sex with men -
Now this is nothing new really because we all know that Ronald Reagan and the CIA invented AIDS back in the 80's to dwindle down the population of homosexuals in some fanatical religious government conspiracy. I can't prove that and am being facetious, but if it turned out to be true i really wouldn't be shocked. Nothing evangelicals do these days surprises me.... anyway...
What really bothered me about this article was teh definition of the people who this was affecting. "Public health experts use the term "men who have sex with men", or MSM, because many of these men are not strickly homosexual or even bisexual." Now hold on a second. If you are having sex with a man, and you are a man aren't you obviously a Man having sex with a man (MSM)? I mean the first time its curious, second time your just making sure, but anything after three and you like it, im sorry it aint a one time thing. Now I hate labels, but where I come from if it looks like shit, smells like shit, chances are its shit. And by golly if you are fucking someone of the same sex, after 3 times, you are either gay or bi. I mean since when do you have a sexual relationship with someone of the same sex and are not gay or bi? Did I miss the boat somewhere. Whats the point in terms like gay, bi, transgendered, Paris Hilton, if we aren't using them anymore. By my book if you are screwing someone of the same sex you are one of the above.
And speaking of Homosexuality, can anyone please give me a reason why people are opposed to gay marriage. I mean seriously I have yet to hear a decent argument against giving homosexuals the right to marry and be miserable like the rest of society. Marriage is neither special nor sacred, so what is all the fuss about. Are you afraid of giving DINKS (Double Income No Kids) tax breaks? So why would someone want to deny a segment of the population rights that others enjoy? Other than the fact that you might be from central/southern California, or Baytown Texas and or some other crazy redneck village/shantytown? Seriously.
The article brings to mind the last time I was in a porn shop and perusing the gay wall. I noticed an awful lot of "Bareback (no condom) porn being sold. In fact outside of the porn shop on Polk St., the store boasted a wall length banner advertising its selection of "Bareback" porn. (my favorite title was Bareback Mountain but lets stay on topic..) Now don't get me wrong I am all for raw sexual relations, but lets be real here, if you advertise bareback porn as anything other than a marital aid, and we know in Utah they don't want "the gays" to get married, then you are just promoting bareback culture. Lets not forget that when you sleep with someone you sleep with everyone they ever slept with by proxy. This means if you are having unprotected "bareback" sex there are consequences, like an increase in MSM AIDS cases, or getting a 14 year old girl in Baytown Texas pregnant, or 17 girls in Gloucester pregnant. So the schools need to keep promoting condom use and other safe sex practices, cause once kids get a hold of porn now a days, they will end up doing each other until they get AIDS or fetuses to flush in the middle school toilet.
I have said my part. I am off to the porn shoppe to find me some bareback porn.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Where to Begin
I find myself in disarray lately, especially with the death last Sunday of my comedian idol, George Carlin. I have always said I was going to capture my thoughts in writing somehow, but always procrastinated.
Following the loss of this comic legend, I find myself realizing how short life truly is, and that not one moment is to be wasted procrastinating.
So here you will find my thoughts. Here you will see snippets of foul things that amuse me, or just a recipe I found that worked.
You probably will see and read things here that will shock you and possibly scare you. If that is the case then I have done my job.
I miss you Mr. Carlin.
Following the loss of this comic legend, I find myself realizing how short life truly is, and that not one moment is to be wasted procrastinating.
So here you will find my thoughts. Here you will see snippets of foul things that amuse me, or just a recipe I found that worked.
You probably will see and read things here that will shock you and possibly scare you. If that is the case then I have done my job.
I miss you Mr. Carlin.
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