Fail 2 times

It worked

It worked. About 40 minutes ago, I very publicly posted why I have been feeling like shit about something very stupid. Well after I posted it, I started to get angry. After putting my thoughts out about why I felt like shit, I was able to come to terms with the fact that someone treated me like dog shit. Fuck that. I am going to delete the post because I feel better now and don't need to justify my feelings any more. I have a right to be angry. I am angry. I am ok with being angry. If you didn't get to read it, just ask me, I will tell you all the sordid details. If everything happens for a reason, then I just have to accept that it happened, and move on. I may not know the reason now or ever, but I can't be sad that someone treated me like I was less than human. Fuck you. I am a decent person, I am stupid sometimes and I forget that, but I can do anything I put my mind to. Right now I am going to go back to fixing things in my life I don't like that I can control. The things I can't control, I will leave alone. I made a success of myself despite having many obstacles to overcome, and I can do it again.

Appropriate music for my mood

(You lied to me) 'cos she said she'd never turn on me
(You lied to me) but you did, but you do
(You lied to me) all these pains you said I'd never feel
(You lied to me) but I do, but I do, do, do


Feeling like there are too many liars out there right now. My goal is 33, by the time I reach 33, if there are no changes, I am out of this shit-hole. Maybe with a finite timeline, I can achieve the goals I would like to and get myself out of this seemingly never ending funk.

Coconut Craze

I've been playing around in the kitchen using coconut in various forms as an ingredient. Sunday I made double coconut muffins. The double coconut came from using coconut oil and sweetened coconut. Combined with 2 types of flour and greek style yogurt, the muffins came out moist and yummy, and had tons of coconut flavor. I was very happy with how they came out. I will tweek the recipe and try using coconut yogurt for triple coconut muffins and see how that comes out. I will post recipes later for those who enjoy coconut as much as i do.

Tonights experiment also used coconut in two ways: coconut oil again and coconut cream. Instead of baking I went for a savory meaty use of coconut. I seared some pork chops and then added the coconut oil to the fond and pork drippings left in my pan. Once the lipids melted together, I added a ton of green curry paste to the fat and some basil and garlic. After incorporating the curry and letting it roast in the pan, I dumped in a can of coconut cream to complete the curry sauce. I put the chops back in the pan and let them drown in the sauce and transferred the pan into the oven.

Right now the chops are out of the oven, resting so I can devour them like a good carnivore. I need to find more ways to incorporate coconut into savory dishes, I really like the flavor it adds, and its fun to find ways to cook with coconut that arent deserts or have a ton of extra sugar added.

Now I want horchara.

Oh the things you hear and see on the street at 2 A.M,

Stepped outside of my building for some air, and what do I hear? Well the first was the conversation of a young woman and her male companion. "I never really realized how much I loved my bed until the boy I loved was sleeping in t with me." She told her friend as they passed. "It is just so comfortable with him there, although it creaks a lot." " I doubt he minds." At this point rather appropriately my attention is drawn away from their interesting conversation by the sound of a rather loud expression of a female in the throws of passion. I look up and notice a open window accross the street and notice a naked woman bouncing up and down, her arms reaching down as though they are being used to steady her balance. Her head tilts back as her back arches and her moans become louder whole the pace of her bouncing motion increases. Just another night in the city of love it think as I turn and walk back inside. The symmetry of these two events amuses me as I notice the sounds of the woman across the street are blocked by the closing of the front door of my building. I wonder if the moaning woman finds her bed as comfortable as the woman I first heard opining on the topic did. She sounded like she was enjoying the bed. Then I thought, my neighbor upstairs who moves her bed alot at night, rather quickly I might add, will probably get jealous of the woman across the street if she heard her. City living can't be beat, it is like a giant dorm, and it's only wednesday, rrr thursday I guess.